Is anyone else feeling out of place? London and Diversity

Now I promised you a blog about my Linklaters event and about black and ethnic minorities and low and behold I get to kill these two birds with one GIANT stone!

Tuesday the 4th of December was meant to be an epic day for me. It was a landmark day for many reasons and here are a few: it was my first trip to London by myself (I know at 22 this shouldn't be such an achievement), it would be my first experience in a big London city firm and I was to take part in a live commercial awareness event. Now I use the term taking part but I will clarify this later on.

So, Tuesday the 4th. All the way to London I was panicking, what if they don't like me, what if I feel out of place, I hope there are other people there like me.... The list of agonising questions goes on.

When I arrived at the Linklaters offices on Silk Street I was MOST impressed. It was everything I imagined from a firm of its calibre. Clean, open spaces  nice receptionist, quick sign in process.... They even had water which was a step up from when they came to my university for an event considering I had to request water like I was requesting a fine wine in a restaurant. 

There was a lot of milling around and small talk, both of which I could have avoided but I did get to meet some very nice undergraduate girls who like me were nervous about the whole thing. The email that we all received to request our company on the night didn't really give a lot away about how the night was going to run. I'm not sure if this was a tactic done by Linklaters to enhance the feeling of anticipation or they just weren't sure either but I have to give it to them, anticipation won out on the night. 

I was disappointed to find out that the questions were pre- selected, this wasn't the impression I had from the email. I had prepared a few questions of my own to ask which went unanswered. I guess they wanted things to run smoothly but I would have liked a more on their toes kind of approach that I have come to expect from Linklaters. Or at least this is how they sell themselves to the graduate public like myself. 
I strongly believe the trip to Hong Kong was pre-selected as well. From those that I spoke to we got the impression that it was to be announced on the night. I don't know how they came to the conclusion of who was to be the winner or what criteria it was based on but it would have been nice to know to see if I even had a chance in the first place. My whole purpose for going was because I thought it would be announced on the night, I could have just stayed at home and watched it online to save myself the hassle.  From the girl's impression that won she did not look very surprised. So I left with my questions unanswered and my dreams of Hong Kong shattered.  

Now, on to the subject of minorities in law. I'll make it brief within this post because I would like to address this issue fully at a later. Put simply I was the ONLY black, Muslim woman in the room. 
Now let me address this criteria separately but in brief. I was not the only black person in the room, there was only one other black girl and she looked as awkward as me about that fact.
I was not the only Muslim in the room. There was one other Muslim girl but she was not wearing hijab (a term used to refer to the head scarf covering). I didn't find out she was Muslim until the event was finished and she approached me and asked how I felt about being the only visibly Muslim woman in the room.
And from what I have already written it can be deduced that I was not the only woman in the room. But even there I felt slightly uncomfortable. It seemed like more of a fashion and beauty parade than a legal event with the way people were dressed. To be honest I felt rather under dressed. 
Now, I'm not saying that they needed to fill the room to the brim with black, Muslim females but jheeze, just one other would have been nice.

In relation to this point I would also like to address the people of the panel on the night. There were 4 panelists. 3 white middle aged males and one middle aged female. Now, pertinent to commercial awareness is the ability to put yourself in the client's shoes. In this scenario, I would consider us, the audience, to be the client. And here's where I started to seriously doubt Linklaters. Who were the people that I was supposed to relate to on that panel? Is it enough that I identify with them on a professional level? Is this even possible at the current stage of my career? I don't think so. I was left lacking interest and faith in the firm when I realised this was it. After selling themselves to me personally as a firm that prides themselves on diversity within the firm I failed to see the diversity in that panel. Yes there was one woman but she seemed soo removed from my beginnings and my self how could I identify with her as lovely as she was?
All in all I can't completely fail the experience. I got to see the firm for what it is and this has helped me to figure out where I would fit into such a place. But at the same time I was forced into getting a real grip on myself with this law as a business. Times have not changed so much that it doesn't matter about the colour of your skin, your sex or your background. Things ARE changing slowly, but notions things still linger around like a bad smell. 

Don't let my experience put you off applying to Linklaters or any other firm, just be strong in your convictions and know that one day you will get there. you will be the first of your kind and others will look to you and think "WOW, if they can do it i can do it to!"

Take care,

Christal